you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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