..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I died a long time ago.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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