the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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