Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Operation Purity has been aborted
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
