Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
