It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't turn off my feet"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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