I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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