Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
