I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
