It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm both gender and math confused
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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