she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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