They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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