Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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