yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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