Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
