i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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