I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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