My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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