This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
