Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
