There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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