My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
