bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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