O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
