11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
