What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
