There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
