It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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