lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
