Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
