yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
