It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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