I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
