I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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