I'm laying in your front yard are you home
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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