glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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