I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
