he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
