i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
