you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can feel your judgement through the phone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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