Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
