Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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