Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
