Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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