I hope mine doesn't look like that
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
