I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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