Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize