Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
