But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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