Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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