I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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