I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
