If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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