I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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