shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize