No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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