this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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