woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize