Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
