What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
