I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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