I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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